What I bring with me after the finished program is first and foremost that it "never" is finished. Working with yourself to become an even better person is a lifetime project. Every day I have to carefully consider my decisions, take responsibility for mine management and give existence and just a little bit of reflection. Every day.
An addictive illness, I think, is something like a chronic illness whatsoever. Take diabetes for example; One doctor's visit is not enough to cure; it requires lifelong followup and medication. I am an addict in my fingertips, no matter what it appears. Half-mesures are not my thing and it is something I have to give thought to every day. Not to make the same mistake as before, because that will make me an idiot. A good start to a full-fledged change or at least a god to begin until transformation and healing is to realize your own flaws and shortcomings.
Accept yourself as the person you are and the mistakes you made. Be kind to yourself and most importantly, forgive yourself. To be here and now. It is in the present that it happens. The present is what exists.
Not the past or tomorrow. Capture the fucking day, as they say, for otherwhise you will dig and continue to live your life in an illusion instead of in reality. There is a meaning in what you have had to go through, I think and no matter what, accept it because there is nothing you can do today to change the past.
Living in the past only creates unnecessary anxiety, worry, waste of thoughts that you have no use for, unless you are an artist or so and possess the ability to constructively convey and transform the bad into something beautiful. I am sure that there is a reason why I am sitting here today with the experiences I have. They have created me and made me the person I am and I should learn from them. And take advantage of them. Do something concrete and constructive of them. As the lifeartists we all actually are. Don't dwell on them. Don't give up on them. Instead, it will eat you up from the inside.
The same goes for tomorrow. Okay okay, I should be better at planning and other boring stuff, but the fact remains that you know nothing about tomorrow. It may not even come. And if I live for tomorrow and miss today, tomorrow I will live
yesterday and so on ...Balance is for me "A and O" (the most important thing). Inevitably in terms of everything here in life, I would think. Other things I think are "A and O" for a recovery is communication, straight and honest.
Even that one with balance of course. But dare to stand up for your thoughts, opinions and values.
Learning to master “straight” communication. To be true to oneself, not to betray one's ideals or to be ethically handicapped to oneself or morally incorrect to others, because in the end it falls back on myself. And I think it's
important, at least for me, to take a break for reflection, in communication with others. And to listen to others. Be a responsive listener.
So the content of the treatment program undergone and the various program steps that I have received, which I have worked with and which I will continue to work with are:
The importance of a healthy mind and healthy body and changed thought-patterns. To live here and now, to learn to communicate, to accept myselfand the harmful actions I have done, to critically dare to examine myself, to dare to ask for help and dare to hand over. Dare to be vulnerable. Be humble. To dare to be honest, both to myself and others.
Another thing I bring with me from my time at Narconon is the feeling of belonging, the feeling of being together, that I have been treated with respect and not been diminished or ever felt worse than anyone else.
I have been accepted just as I am, with my flaws and shortcomings and also been strengthened for who I am. The one I am without my addiction personality. Being treated like this is unique. It must be unique.
Thanks Narconon. My keywords are: Balance, tolerance, acceptance, presence, reflection, forgiveness and love. J.V