It is important to know the difference between punishing an addict and letting them take the consequences of the bad actions that the addict does.
It is easy for a relative to get stuck in the negative spiral of enabling. Where you do things that remove consequences for the person who is addicted
because you think you protect them.
Some examples of this are:
-Make sure the person comes up in the morning. - Paying bills and debts to the person (drug debts) - lying to others that there is no problem or explaining the behaviors, all to protect the addict. - Give money or other support to the person because he has already spent it. - drive the person when he / she is to get drugs because he or she feels so bad.
Enabling always starts with good intentions.
The signal then becomes that the addict can continue to use drugs because we the relatives take care of the consequences that come up.
This is how it works:
The addict takes drugs = Relatives feel fear and protects = the addict has no consequences = the addict can continue to take drugs, then it starts from the beginning.
If the person who has an alcohol or drug addiction does not have to take responsibility for the negative consequences that stems from the addiction, he / she will never find a reason to change.
A person only changes if he feels that there is a problem. Therefore, it is important to allow the alcohol or drug addict to manage the natural consequences of her / his drinking / drug abuse.
You are not the one to handle this. Leave the responsibility to the person who created the problem in the first place. This is not to punish the person.
Motivating a person who has no problems or does not see his/hers problem is very difficult. The problems must be real to the person. Protecting the person that is drinking too much alcohol or taking drugs leads to that person taking a longer time to see the problem.
When a person wants to change their situation, it is easier to help the person to deal with the problem and to get him into Rehab. So a key to this is to stop being an enabler.
We at Narconon welcome people for motivation talks and we offer a good treatment for those who want to be drug-free and sober.