My name is Emma. I am from the UK but now live in Sweden and am work training in Narconon Eslov. After 30 years of substance misuse I did the Narconon program and am proud to say that I have been clean and sober for 2 years.
I would like to tell you a little about my journey through addiction and how I am now 2 years drug free!
I was born in England and grew up in Sussex. I come from a good family, well cared for in a stable healthy environment. My parents did their utmost to provide me with the best opportunities for a good life. Taught me discipline, good manners and boundaries. A nice home in the countryside, family holidays around Europe. I went to private school from age 8 to 18 and went on to university to get a degree in French. I worked most of my adult life and had a 20 year career in arts and event management.
So what went wrong? That I became a drug addict with a 30 year history of drug abuse? From my first marijuana joint at school at the age of 16, I went on to use almost every illegal drug out there: 5 years of LSD, amphetamine and Ecstasy during the Rave scene: 5 years of cocaine: And finally a 20 year addiction to heroin and methadone: with intermittent use of Spice and crack!!!
I was what you might call a Functioning Addict. By functioning I mean, able to pay my bills and my rent, go to university, hold down a full time job, and commute every day to my job.... Whilst hiding in the train toilets to avoid paying for my tickets. Smoking heroin...to and from work. I call that Functioning!
My journey through addiction reached its finale in drinking a litre of Whisky, every day for almost a year. By then I was what I know to be a completely dysfunctional individual and utterly unhappy. I had given up work altogether but would get up at 7am, get smartly dressed and mingle with the real commuters in the supermarket on their way to work. To steal my litre of whisky. Every day!!! For almost a year.... My sole purpose was to drink myself into oblivion.
So what happened? Why did I take all these drugs? I have been asked this question many times through my years of addiction. To which I have replied; I was young, a bit rebellious and wanted to experiment: I wanted to experience life on another level; more latterly, that drugs gave me relief and helped me to cope with a full time career, trouble-some relationships and a general lack of meaning in my life.
In short I was addicted to escaping reality. I checked out of life. And checked out from myself. I lost my job, my friends, my interests and hobbies, my purpose. Life had no meaning. I became estranged from my family. Ended up dealing drugs, stealing and in an abusive relationship. My health declining rapidly, broke my leg, knocked myself out twice in the same week and ended up in hospital 5 times in a 6 month period. Totally unhappy.
There is no person alive who can not make a new beginning.
Over 3 decades my path had indeed become so messed up that I could not see a way out.
When does someone see their ruin? The need for change? Know when they've hit rock bottom? How can they, when they have become so disconnected from their own reality....
Well, the point on my road was when my parents helped me and introduced me to Narconon.
I came to Narconon Eslov in January 2020 and did the program. Through the program I gained so much knowledge and tools to deal with my addition and understanding of how I can change the way I experience life. Through Narconon I have not only gained sobriety, but also been able to rehabilitate my true self to my full potential. I have learnt that I am a very able being. I can be cause and confront life. I have a great relationship with my family. I know who my friends are and have a group that support me. I understand that happiness is indeed achieved in worthwhile activities and in surviving as best I can. And that I am. I am happy and live my life with meaning, helping others become drug free. That is everything. To have purpose and wake up with enthusiasm for the day ahead. I have checked back in! I have peace of mind, clarity, sobriety and feel connected to the world.
I would not be here today if it had not been for my wonderful parents who have supported me my whole life. For the Narconon program itself. Or without the wonderful people who work here at Narconon Eslov who have helped me with all their advice, support and friendship to find my new beginnings here in Sweden. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
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